


Intrusive and Overwhelming

by Sand_wolf579



Category: The Last Kids on Earth (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Claustrophobia, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Apocalypse, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-22 12:23:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21302021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sand_wolf579/pseuds/Sand_wolf579
Summary: Jack was plagued with intrusive thoughts thoughts about the end of the world.  Unable to sleep, he decided to go out for some air, only to find that Dirk was awake too, plagued by his own thoughts.
Relationships: Dirk Savage & Jack Sullivan
Comments: 11
Kudos: 78





	Intrusive and Overwhelming

**Author's Note:**

> This is more a fanfiction for the books than for the show, but I think it should still be read by those who haven't read the books...I mean, there will be some massive spoilers, but if you don't mind that much, it should be fine. Eventually I will write a story that's more show centric, but for now this is what I've got.

Jack blinked and stared up at the ceiling. If there was one thing he didn’t think he’d ever get used to about the zombie apocalypse, it was what it did to his sleep. There were nights where Jack was left feeling so exhausted from adventuring and fighting off evil monsters and brainless zombies that Jack thought he could sleep through the end of the world...you know, if the end of the world hadn’t already happened.

Some nights though, Jack could lie there for hours, his mind too full of thoughts of Ŗeżżőcħ the Ancient coming to destroy Earth, and just how much responsibility was on his own teenage shoulders, that he couldn’t sleep at all. It was a lot for one kid to take in. It was times like this when Jack most desperately wanted to shut everything out, pretend that there was nothing wrong. Adventuring or playing video games helped sometimes, but other times it just made him feel even more anxious. The only true blue way to get these thoughts to stop, at least for a little bit, was to sleep, but, just his luck, sleep seemed to refuse to come to him when he was thinking about the world ending (like,  _ actually  _ ending, not just being overrun by zombies and monsters).

Jack had never really wanted to sleep so much when he wasn’t tired. He now had a lot more appreciation for the suffering that Dirk had been going through until recently. Jack now almost felt bad for all his attempts to get Dirk up and moving when all the big guy had wanted was some peace and quiet. Jack would give anything to turn his brain off and get some shuteye.

Jack groaned, finally admitting to himself that he just wasn’t going to be getting any sleep that night. He sat up and looked at his arm, which was now part Scrapken flesh. He pinched the part of the discolored, tight skin, frowning when he could actually feel the pinch. There was no doubt about it, the Scrapken flesh had fused with his own. It definitely wasn’t a glove anymore. 

It was kinda cool, but also super freaky. What made it even cooler and  _ way  _ freakier was that this wasn’t just a weird mutation in his arm, it was a mutation that let him control zombies. That was a lot of power for one kid, and as Spiderman’s Uncle Ben said, with great power comes great responsibility.

Jack sighed and grabbed an old hoodie that was lying around. At this point, he had no idea whose hoodie it originally was, because they all wore it. The hoodie was just something that they kept around for one someone was feeling just a little chilly...or when they felt like they had the weight of the world on their shoulders, and they just needed the nice comfort that came from a too big, well-worn, well-loved hoodie that smelled like home. It felt like a nice, warm hug.

Jack stood up as he pulled on the hoodie, tugging the sleeves to cover as much of his hand as he possibly could. He didn’t want to think about his weird hand and even weirder powers right now. He just wanted some fresh air.

Being careful to keep quiet and not wake the others, Jack crept out to the balcony of the treehouse. He’d been mentally preparing to look out over Wakefield, brooding dramatically about his thoughts, just like the kind of thing you would see in a movie, when he found that somebody else had beat him to it.

“Dirk?” Jack frowned when he saw his friend leaning against the railing. At first Dirk didn’t move at all, and Jack was worried that he hadn’t heard him, but then the larger boy turned and looked back to him. Jack couldn’t help but shudder when he saw an all-too familiar look in Dirk’s eyes. He looked pained and slightly dazed. Dirk looked like he had when he’d been hearing the zombie horde in his head. Jack had thought that Quint had solved that problem.

“Are you doing okay, buddy?” Jack asked gently, using the type of tone that someone would use when talking to a hurt animal or a scared child. Dirk didn’t look amused.

“I’m fine,” Dirk said, but Jack didn’t completely believe him.

“You know, it’s okay if you’re feeling a little  _ not  _ fine,” Jack encouraged. Dirk scowled and gave him an annoyed look. At the best of times, Dirk wasn’t all that eager to talk about his own feelings, but he especially didn’t like being pushed into it. Jack drew back slightly, feeling a little sheepish. He didn’t want to make Dirk feel like he was being forced into doing anything. Dirk had had enough of being manipulated and controlled, he didn’t need anymore of it.

“Actually...I’m feeling a little not fine myself right now,” Jack said reluctantly. He wanted to know what was going on in Dirk’s head, but it wasn’t fair for him to just keep on asking about it when Jack was so reluctant to share with his friends how he was feeling himself. Maybe Dirk would be more willing to open up if Jack did so first.

Dirk’s frown softened and he looked more concerned than annoyed. “What’s going on?” Even though Dirk was asking, Jack knew that if he said that he didn’t feel like talking, Dirk would let it go. He didn’t push things like this, it just wasn’t the kind of guy that he was.

Jack winced and rubbed his arm. “It’s just...there’s a lot going on, you know?” Jack looked out over the town. “I can’t help but think about how there’s an evil monster out there who wants to destroy our world, and some new villain just keeps on showing up to help make that happen.” Jack clenched his fists. “I just keep on thinking, what if we’re not enough? What if no matter how hard we try, we won’t be able to stop Thrull or Ŗeżżőcħ.”

Dirk nodded sympathetically. “Kinda makes you wish you could turn your brain off, right? Just shut down those kind of thoughts.”

If any of Jack’s friend’s knew about unwanted intrusive thoughts, it was Dirk. He understood it. Jack had never known just how nice it would feel to talk about something with someone who could truly empathize, more than just feel sorry for him.

“At least you’re able to block those thoughts out now,” Jack said, trying to look on the bright side of things. His stomach sunk slightly when he saw Dirk flinch. This didn’t make sense. Dirk was supposed to finally be at peace. They’d solved the problem of him hearing zombie voices in his head, Dirk should finally be happy. That helmet was supposed to fix things...wait a minute…

“Where’s your helmet?” Jack asked. Quint had tricked out Dirk’s old football helmet so it would block those zombie voices and sounds out. Dirk had been so relieved about not having the constant chaos in his mind that he wore that things for days. It seemed like he was planning on never taking the helmet off, and yet here he was, helmetless.

Dirk sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I was feeling kind of crowded and trapped.” It didn’t sound like Dirk was revealing all that much, but his voice shook, like he was revealing some huge secret.

Jack didn’t completely get it. He’d thought that, if anything, Dirk would feel trapped by hearing voices in his head all the time. Why would he willingly take off the helmet that tuned all of that noise out? “What do you mean?”

Dirk scowled to himself and looked out towards the town again. “The kind of thoughts you get, I get them sometimes too. I really don’t like small places, but when those thoughts hit me, everything feels even smaller. Like that, the helmet just felt like it was closing in around me. I couldn’t…” Dirk closed his eyes and at that moment it looked like all of the pressure and weight that Jack had been feeling on his own back was now burdening Dirk.

Jack wanted to help Dirk, but he didn’t know what he could do. They’d tried to help him to tune out the zombie voices and instincts, but it apparently didn’t help block out Dirk’s natural thoughts. If Dirk’s own intrusive thoughts made his claustrophobia worse to the point that he couldn’t handle wearing the helmet, then what was the point? Dirk deserved peace, but he just couldn’t find it. He either had to choose between keeping the helmet on and bearing through the claustrophobia that came with it, or taking the helmet off and letting the zombie voices, which he’d been so desperate to block out, back in.

The thing was, while Jack had an idea of what was going through Dirk’s head and how he had to be feeling, he could only really imagine it. He didn’t actually  _ know  _ how Dirk was feeling, so how could he know how to help him?

“So...are you hearing the zombies now?” Jack asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. The second he asked it, he regretted it. Dirk was struggling right now, and Jack reminding him of that was probably not helping.

Fortunately, Dirk didn’t seem the mind Jack’s question. “It’s not that bad,” Dirk was trying to put on a brave face, but Jack wasn’t about to take his word for it. He’d seen how much pain Dirk had been in before, he didn’t think he was doing much better now.

“Where are your headphones?” Jack asked. He hadn’t been very happy with Dirk’s method of basically blocking out the world and his problems, but if it was a choice between Dirk being in pain, or him hiding from his problems, Jack would accept hiding any day.

Dirk shook his head. “They’re like the helmet,” Jack remembered how huge the headphones were, and how securely they had covered Dirk’s head, basically blocking out everything. If the football helmet had been giving Dirk problems, then Jack could totally understand how the headphones would.

“So...you’re hearing zombies right now?” Jack asked. Dirk grimaced and nodded. Jack felt even worse. Dirk just couldn’t seem to catch a break. He seemed like he needed a hug. Jack didn’t think that Dirk would be all that receptive to an actual hug, but he thought he had an alternative on hand.

Jack grabbed his hoodie and pulled it off his back. Dirk was looking at him in confusion,but Jack really didn’t mind it. He could stand his friend thinking he was weird, he knew what he was doing. Jack handed Dirk the hoodie. “You look like you need it more than I do,”

Dirk hesitated for a moment before he took the hoodie. “You sure about this? You look like you need this.”

“Not as much as you do,” Jack said. “Seriously, just take the hoodie,”

A small smile crept onto Dirk’s face. He pulled the hoodie on. While Jack had practically been swimming in the hoodie, it fit Dirk snugly, like a glove. Fortunately, a glove that actually fit, not one that just kinda fit, but didn’t completely cover your wrist.

Dirk adjusted the hoodie and Jack grinned broadly at him. “Feels like a warm hug, doesn’t it?”

Dirk smirked and grabbed Jack’s arm, pulling him closer. “Doesn’t seem fair that I get all the hoodie hugs.” Jack made to pull away, but it was only a halfhearted attempt, and Dirk was a lot stronger than he was. Dirk held Jack against his chest and wrapped his arms around him.

“W-what are you doing?” Jack asked.

“Sharing the hoodie hug,” Dirk said, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Sure, it wasn’t the weirdest thing, but it was something that Jack hadn’t expected. It felt nice though. Dirk really did have a firm hold. Dirk was really great at snuggling, just like Jack thought he would be.

“...You feeling okay?” Dirk asked.

“As okay as I can be right now,” Jack said. “What about you?”

“I could be better,” Dirk said honestly. “But I could be worse,”

“The hoodie’s not too snug, is it?” Jack asked. “I don’t really know how this whole claustrophobia thing works.” If headphones or a helmet could make Dirk anxious, for all Jack knew it might be the same with a well fitted hoodie.

“Nah, it’s cool,” Dirk shrugged, which felt weird when Jack was still leaning back against him. “I don’t feel trapped by the hoodie, so I don’t have to feel anxious or worried about not getting away from it.”

“Well, that’s good,” Jack would feel lousy if he’d accidentally made Dirk feel even worse. “So...do you want to go back inside.” Without the hoodie, it was a little chilly out.

“Eh, not really,” Dirk seemed to tell that Jack was cold, because he pulled Jack even closer, his arms wrapped tightly around him. “With all those walls there…”

Jack grimaced. “Okay, how does claustrophobia even work? I thought it made you nervous about small spaces, but you’re usually okay with the tree house and the helmet, so what’s different now?” Jack frowned as a thought came to him. “Unless you always feel claustrophobic in the treehouse and when you’re wearing the helmet, because if that’s been a thing this whole time, you should have said something.”

“It’s usually fine,” Dirk quickly reassured him. “There are some tight spaces that freak me out all the time, and other tight spaces that only freak me out when I’m already feeling freaked out.”

Jack frowned. “That sounds confusing.”

Dirk scoffed. “It’s even worse when you’re living with it. And what I have to deal with isn’t all that bad compared to other people.” If Dirk’s claustrophobia was bad enough that he would rather deal with freaky zombie voices in his head, Jack didn’t want to know what Dirk’s idea of ‘bad’ claustrophobia looked like.

“Alright, so the treehouse is out,” Jack said. He knew that technically he could just return inside himself, because  _ he  _ wasn’t plagued with claustrophobia the way that Dirk was, but he barely even considered that. Jack didn’t want to leave Dirk on his own right now, and what would he do if he went back inside? Go back to not sleeping and staring at the ceiling like Ŗeżżőcħ was going to be coming through it at any second? No thanks.

“You wanna just stay out here for a bit?” Jack suggested, only realizing after he said it that this was clearly what Dirk had had in mind in the first place.

“That was the plan,” Dirk said. “It’s a nice night out,” Actually, it was somewhat chilly, and it looked like it was going to rain, but Jack knew that Dirk hadn’t been talking about the weather. There weren’t any evil or dangerous monsters in sight that could attack them. They couldn’t see or even hear any zombies around. It was a strangely quiet and calm night, the kind of night that you didn’t see very often during the end of the world. Jack could almost pretend that everything was normal again, like the zombie apocalypse had never happened.

Not only did this mean that Jack didn’t have to worry about a midnight defending of their treehouse, but he could pretend that there was no monster that was out to destroy the world. And Dirk could pretend that there were no zombies out there for him to hear in his head. It was a pretty easy way to not feel so anxious about the future.

Maybe it wasn’t smart to just ignore their problems, because that definitely wouldn’t make them go away. Jack knew that, but he really needed a break, even if it was just for a few hours. And it was nice to take that break with someone who needed it just as much as he did.

They could face their problems tomorrow. For tonight, they were just enjoying the peace and quiet, because it wasn’t something that they could find very often nowadays. All Jack wanted to do was to take advantage of that peace while it lasted, and hope that it wouldn’t be too long before they could find it again.

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I loved the fifth book. There was so much stuff going on with Dirk, who is definitely my favorite character. He's just got so much angsty possibilities, and the more I learn about him the more angsty he becomes.


End file.
